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In three days we've travelled back in time 28 million years, escaped
unscathed from one of Asia's most terrifying bars, and discovered the
delights of having a butler.
 We've
wandered barefoot through a king's summer palace, tangled with tired tigers
and shared lunch with ghosts of PoWs on the River Kwai.
In amazing Thailand almost anything is possible, even if you're only on a
snapshot stopover visit.
For our small group, the sample-Thailand-in-72-hours marathon required a
mini bus, a driver able to negotiate a 600km maze of lanes, tracks, towns
and highways, and an exhaustingly cheerful guide.
Our starting point was must-see Bangkok, the frenetic, exciting Thai
capital of nine million that offers all things to all people – marvellous
hotels, incomparable service, bargain shopping, a colourful nightlife and a
rich culture.
The five-star Banyan Tree Hotel in the relatively quiet central business
and diplomatic district of South Sathon Rd – an elegant oasis within walking
distance of the Suan Lum night bazaar, the new subway rapid transport system
and only 30 minutes from the international airport – is strategically placed
for touring the city and an eminently acceptable base for recharging the
batteries.
The Banyan Tree's Vertigo Restaurant and Moon Bar on its 61st floor – an
uncovered rooftop 200m above the sidewalk – is a popular hangout for locals
and visitors.
For a spectacular 360-degree view of a great city, it's worth a few extra
heartbeats.
At 8am, through Bangkok's peak-hour traffic, we headed southwest out of
the city on to Highway 4 and deep into the lush agricultural plains of
Ratchaburi Province to Damnoen Saduak, Thailand's best floating markets.
After a 90-minute drive we transferred to a fast long-tail boat for a
30-minute exhilarating ride along a web of narrow man-made canals under a
jungle canopy of bamboo, palms and wild hibiscus.
Life in rich, rural Thailand flashed past like a movie on fast-forward –
a blur of wooden bungalows, tiny spirit houses, banana plantations, pawpaw
and mango trees, and children at play.
At Khlong Thonkem, in the heart of the sprawling markets, hundreds of
small rowing boats laden with produce hustled for customers on the narrow
waterways.
For tourists on dry land, the floating market extends into a labyrinth of
stalls and alleyways.
We headed northwest to
Kanchanaburi for lunch on the cool, breezy banks of the River Kwai
where, in World War II, many thousands of prisoners died building the
infamous Death Railway.
Then it was southwards again to Tiger Temple where 10 lazy tigers snoozed
in a dusty clay pit as they were stroked and photographed by queues of
less-than-courageous tourists. "Dangerous but Kindly," said a warning sign.
As monsoonal showers swept the darkening highway, we rumbled farther
south along the coast to Hua Hin,
about 200km south of Bangkok.
At the cavernous Sang Thai Seafood Restaurant, right on the beach, we
captured the best open-air table, with waves lapping under our feet.
Within minutes, raindrops kept falling on our heads and into our Chang
beer, so we scampered inside. The eight-course feast cost us about $10 each.
Thirty minutes farther south we discovered the little-known resort area
of Pran Buri – a beachside haven with the stunning beachfront
Evason Hideaway and Six Senses Spa as its highlight.
Despite the late hour we were welcomed with smiles, huge umbrellas, golf
buggies and, of course, our very own butlers – one each.
Laksana, a cheerful young lady who had been on duty for 12 hours (four of
them awaiting my arrival), handed me her card and led me to a pool villa.
It was a gigantic walled compound of three separate buildings luxurious
beyond belief – all for me.
It had an ocean view, a huge pool and lilly pond, an outdoor tub for two,
an indoor shower for more, a wine cellar, 20 light switches and a
four-poster bed. Where was everybody when I needed them? I was home alone.
Again.
Next morning we were scheduled for local sightseeing. "Bring strong
shoes," warned our guide.
"Let me stay here in paradise," I pleaded. No chance.
So, it was off to nearby
Sam Roi Yod National Park – the mountain with 300 peaks – via Wang Daeng
fishing village, and a long-tail boat ride up the Bang Pu River to a
deserted crescent-shaped white-sand beach at Laem Sala, a great place to veg
out under the casuarinas with a chilli dish and a cold beer.
"Not many older tourists come to this place," our guide told us
pointedly.
An hour or so later I knew why. We had struggled up a steep, slippery
path 500m up the mountainside and down another 200m track into the
hauntingly beautiful Phraya Nakhon Cave.
Sunlight from a gaping hole in the roof illuminated surreal rock and
limestone structures evolved over 28 million years and a curious four-gabled
pavilion constructed as a symbolic gesture during the reign of
King Rama V
in 1890.
The next day we were in
Phetchaburi, shoes in hand, wandering through the hilltop 19th century
summer palace of
King Rama IV.
Then, with our compass pointing north and only 160km to go, it was off to
Bangkok for a rest.
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